A lot of my theology is based around if you rolled a really blessed character than you ought to use that to bless others. I’m someone who has been told by every adult ever that I could do whatever I set my mind to. They’d add at the end that they genuinely believed that. They were always so impressed with my intelligence.

Because of that, I have always believed in my ability to do something that makes a lot of money even if it is an artistic thing. I want to create not just for the love of it, but to make a great deal of money for the purpose of using it to help others whether through charity or something a bit more nuanced like someone I met in need and spent time and money on.

I would like to create art that gives people in a realistic way that doesn’t pretty up the darkness of reality. However, I don’t intend to throw the gospel in my art because it would not feel authentic. I would rather communicate the gospel in a relationship way because that is what I know how to do.

Gonna take a moment to admit I’m still sad about things but I’m also still working through them.

I have three things left to my faith at this point: Jesus, Romans 12, and Ecclesiastes 12:13-14

I’m so tired of theology. I’m tired of humans arguing for the God they’ve created. I’m so tired of everything spiritual being difficult to understand. I hate having the burning desire to understand things better and not settling for the simple explanation but here I am.

I would prefer a God who does nothing since Jesus came. I don’t believe that, but lately I would prefer it.

I don’t want to pray to God for anything because I don’t want to believe he still works at all.

It’s been a long time since I’ve told anyone I would pray for them.

I feel broken and not in a Christiany way. I feel like there is a glitch in my software. It feels like somewhere the hardware is broke. Somewhere inside me there’s a part that gave up and quit and the rest of me is struggling to maintain because of it.

Sometimes I develop this mindset that I am in currently where I care progressively less about myself to the point where I do the bare minimum of self-care and spend my time wishing for all the people I care about to be happier and be more successful.

Thinking about tattoos for the first time in my life. I kinda want oathkeeper and oblivion keyblades on each arm since kingdom hearts is so important to me.